Assumption, Accusation and Being Wrong

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Kids Can Be Nasty

My youngest has recently turned nine.  Aside from that meaning I’m getting very old, it also means the usual extended days of birthday celebrations.  For him it went like this:

Friday

  • Wake up at 6am for presents, general back slapping on surviving nine years (mostly for the parents)
  • Go to Aquapark with friends for celebration
  • Back home for swim and play with friends
  • At night off to the cricket

Saturday

  • Morning tea with friends and family for birthday
  • Cricket in the front yard
  • More sweets, presents and play than a kid can handle
  • Receive birthday card with cartoon of your sister’s death

I’m not making this shit up:

Birthday card with cartoon of my daugter being dead

Birthday Death Card

Drive Straight Into Overreaction Town, Then Turn Left

This lovely card was signed by the person who wrote it, on the back.  It just so happens that their name is the same name as my niece, and I’m blown away.  I’m feeling a little sick that any child can wish another child dead on a card, let alone her.  She’s the sweetest and gentlest child on the planet.

Have I got It Wrong?

Is there something going on there that I haven’t picked up on, and that my brother hasn’t told me about?  What do I do?  Whoever’s child has written that must have their parents brought into the conversation.  I’m thinking that if my child were to write that I’d want to know.  I would need the chance to have chat with my daemon spawn, letting them know that wishing another person dead is for psychopaths, and I’d rather not raise psychopaths.

So I text my brother the photo.

Long conversation short there’s no way that it was from his side.  My deductive skills, until now in hibernation, spring into action.  Cross-examination of my kids show that there’s another person in the picture with the same name as my niece, and that’s where it came from!!

Continue On Confusion Boulevard, Take Right Onto Wrong Road

So I’m a schmuck.  Or am I?  Now I’m sure my brother thinks I’ve accused his sweet daughter of being the reapers apprentice, this will not do.

It gets me to thinking about making presumptions without the fact, about accusation without a conversation.  What do people accuse me of without talking to me first?  Sometimes I look confused or angry when all I’m doing is concentrating or thinking.  I’ve heard this from my friends and work colleagues Even in social situations I can easily look angry or confused when I’m anything but.  I have RAF – Resting Angry Face.  Doesn’t mean I am angry, I’m probably frowning now as I write, it’s nothing personal.  It turns out that image below is rubbish, some of the time:

Facial Expressions

If we were avoid presuming or accusing before we have a chance to talk with someone, perhaps we’d all get along a lot better.

Talk to me, I don’t bite.

Assumption, Accusation and Being Wrong by

This article first appeared on Reductee as http://www.reductee.com/2017/01/22/assumption-accusation-and-being-wrong/

About Tony Jay

For the last 19 years I have been a software consultant to major corporations and boutique businesses alike. I've consulted to Media, Utility, Banking and Aviation clients in Europe and Australia.

I believe that we work too much to achieve too little. I'm obsessed with finding the balance between effort and reward so that we can live a simpler, happier, more productive life.

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